Plum Village (France) | I Have Arrived, I am Home - 26 Jun, 2023

I took this photo of this beautiful sunset in Idaho, United States while visiting my parents a while back. I decided to add it here because it aligns perfectly with this post about arriving and being home.  

I was blessed to stay at Son Ha during my retreat at Plum Village. When I first arrived, I wasn't sure. However, during two evenings, our cohort was invited to sit with Monastics instead of sitting meditation. Both times we gathered in the leisure room and sat in a circle on cushions. This setting provided us with an intimate experience with the Brothers. It was an opportunity to hear from my cohort and gain insights into the life of the Monastics. This does not happen at the other Hamlets. The volume of Laypeople at the other Hamlets makes it impossible to duplicate this intimate experience. This was one of the unique perks of staying at Son Ha. These were experiences I enjoyed tremendously.

On the first evening, we shared time with Brother Hy Ma (hee mah) from Spain and Brother Dihn Thành (din tan). Brother Hy Ma has been practicing at Plum Village for a decade now. As the elder, Brother Hy Ma led the experience. "Before we start, I brought a cookie for everyone. This will give us a chance to all be present together as we practice mindfully passing the plate and then eating the cookies," says Brother Hy Ma. After everyone takes a cookie, I break off a small piece. The cookie has the texture of cardboard and subtle sweetness that is easy to overlook. It is surprisingly good, though I notice not everyone thinks so.

"I'd like to hear about how the retreat is going for each of you. What has been special for you?" asks Brother Hy Ma. We share insights from our retreat, each person bowing into the circle before starting. When my turn comes, I take a moment, then speak. In the days that I have been here, I have had many memorable experiences thus far, many of which I have already shared with some of you. I want to share something that has surfaced and that I am currently working through. Something I have yet to share with all of you.

I have been exploring situations in which I am still susceptible to projections. There was a time when I used to take on problems that others projected onto me. In psychology, projecting refers to a defense mechanism that some people use to avoid feeling or confronting issues they don't like about themselves or are struggling with. My problem with projecting was I frequently took these burdens on as my own when someone else projected them onto me. In those situations, I did not know what to do and did not understand that these were not my problems to resolve. 

Now that I understand how it works, I am generally good at recognizing when it happens, and I no longer take on these issues as my own. However, during one of my meditations this week, I became aware of a few situations where I am still susceptible to projections. For example, a friend of mine, who is on a journey of self-discovery, told me that I was searching for something because I still wanted to travel after nearly one year on the road. So, before leaving this past March, I owned this projection and believed there was something I was searching for in my travels.

Being at Plum Village this week has enabled me to sit with these feelings and situations more intensely. This time, I noticed that those words did not resonate with me. I am living how I want to live. When I dive deeply, I notice there is no desire to seek anything. My purpose is to have experiences in the present moment.

I acknowledge that I need to investigate these situations further and why I am still willing to take on these burdens. Everyone places their hands in Anjali Mudra and bows when I finish sharing. This is customary when someone finishes sharing before moving on to the next person. 

I Have Arrived, I am Home is a reminder that in mindfulness, we find the path of stopping (i.e., I have arrived) and enjoying the present moment (i.e., I am Home).

We continue around the circle. Then Brother Dihn Thành says, "I've been exploring my relationship with food. In many parts of the world, monks do not serve themselves. They simply hold their bowls while others fill them. Often a single scoop of each dish is given. The monks have no preferences. So this week, I have decided to take only a single scoop from each dish. I am exploring how my body reacts, how it feels, and what else surfaces." We put our hands together and bowed.

Then Brother Hi Ma begins. "Over the last 10 years, I have found that I eat very little food nowadays. As my body ages, it needs less," he says. "Recently, I have been exploring near-death experiences. I have watched many testimonials of people who were confronted with death. Amazingly, these people develop similar insights to our practice," he says. Brother Hy Ma then shares a few examples of stories he's watched recently and the insights that people have developed as a result of these experiences.

After our evening, I visited with Daniel as we walked to Happy Farm to watch the sunset. That was incredible! We got a glimpse into what Monastics do and how they think. "Yes. Imagine living this way for decades," says Daniel. There was a time when I was intrigued by the idea of becoming a monk. Their lifestyle was intriguing to me. But I now realize this was simply a reminder to make time for a retreat like this. After being here and experiencing the monk lifestyle, I have no desire to live this way for years. "Me neither," says Daniel.

This picture hangs inside the Dining Hall at Son Ha. I often looked at this picture while eating and loved the image. It attempts to eliminate the dualistic nature of perceiving the Buddha and Christ. Thich Nhat Hanh was a strong supporter of Christianity and Buddhism. His book Living Buddha, Living Christ, is a good read for those interested, and he concludes that Christ and Buddha would have likely been friends as their core teachings were similar.

The second evening with Monastics, a few days later, was with Brother Pháp Dàm. Brother Phàp Dám speaks only Vietnamese, and Augustin, a Long-Term, acts as his interpreter for the evening. Brother Dàm opens a large can of salted peanuts to share with the group. The mood is light tonight. Brother Dám sits on his cushion with a big smile and smokey glasses. "How was my cooking?" asks Brother Dám. We all respond at the same time, "Some of the best food we have eaten while at Son Ha. He smiles with deep appreciation. Tonight, Brother Dám is willing to freelance and answer any questions we have. 

Daniel shares his difficulty with public speaking and asks Brother Dám for advice to help his nervousness. "Begin by breathing about 20 minutes before your presentation. Then visualize yourself making the presentation. Practice this habit when you aren't giving a presentation. That way, when you do, you will be calm. But if you do not practice and only do it when you are presenting, it will not work," he says. "I was nervous before starting tonight. What was I going to say? How will I know if you understand what I am saying? Then I let go. I knew Augustin was going to say something after I talked, and all I needed to do was to sit here and smile," he continues. We all laugh.

Before closing the session, Brother Dám asks, "Would one of you be willing to share your experience with meditation?" After a period of silence, I look around and see that no one is eager to bow in. So I do. "I started meditating about 10 years ago. It has become an essential part of my day. I say I practice many forms of meditation, all on my own. As I continue, I share an example of a noting meditation that I frequently do. Once I begin meditating, I become fully aware of my surroundings by noting different things, sounds, sensations, etc. Then I pause as Augustin translates.

"Meditation is like a bird. It has two wings. The first wing is becoming aware. Once you become aware, stop. Let your breath return to its normal rhythm. The second wing is deep reflection. For the bird to fly, it must have both wings. Stopping is the critical activity that allows us to look deeply within ourselves," explains Brother Dám. When Brother Phap Dám finishes, I pause, reflecting on his words. Then we all bow and call it a night.